Is There Still Hope With A Male Friend Being More?

Hi there,





Am very confused and keeping swaying from one conclusion to another so I needed some outside perspectives to help me see clearly on this!





I have developed feelings for one of my male friends. He's quite a few years older than me and we met a few months ago via a mutual friend. The impression I got from him and from what my friend told me was that he was interested and described me as ';hot'; (his word apparently!!). Anyway he was incredibly shy that night and I didn't think any more of it.





Anyway, our mutual friend suggested I send him a friend's request on Facebook which I did and we got chatting a little bit about general things and finding out a bit more about each other - he seemed really keen whereas, at that point, I wasn't really feeling anything. I mentioned to him about a problem I was having with my laptop and he offered to help me out with it. I still felt he was keen to spend time with me but wasn't sure of my feelings so I kept things casual and didn't initiate a meeting. Anyway, just before last Christmas he did eventually end up coming to my place to help out. He had even bought me a bottle of wine as a Christmas present and got a little present for my cat! So we got to spend some time together but we were both pretty shy on that occasion so not much came out of it.





We kept up contact via texts, calls and Facebook which have been really lovely and came over a couple more times; he told me that I really made him relax and felt like he had known me for years, then he was due to come over for coffee a few weeks ago which he did do but I had broken my toilet that day and desperately needed to get something to fix it. I don't drive so I sent a text to him to ask him if he could just take me somewhere to get what I needed. He agreed to do that with no complaint or fuss. We went out, got the stuff, I told him how much it meant that he'd taken time to help me out and then we got back to mine where he insisted that he fixed my toilet for me - I tried to say no, as he had already done loads for me, but he just went ahead and did it, I jokingly declared him my hero!





My birthday was only this weekend past and I had organised a party, he offered to help me out on that as he does some dj'ing. A couple weeks before the party he text me about the music for the night and asked me if we could have the last dance together and dance to Aerosmith's ';Don't Wanna Miss A Thing'; - I still felt unsure about things but texted back saying yes. He ended up offering to dj for my party for free (he had turned down a paid job to do this favour for me). So the night of my party he did indeed do a great job of dj'ing and keeping everyone entertained and then it hit me how much he had done for me and all these feelings which, I think, have been developing quietly away in the background came rushing forward! I kept nipping into the dj booth to chat to him and did a lot of arm touching with him, we even had a quick peck on the lips and this was in front of other people (my friends, not his). Towards the end of the night the suggestion of the last dance came back to me and I wanted to initiate something before it was too late. I had to mention it twice but he agreed to it.





So he put the song on and I thought we would do some non-intimate, ballroom style stance but he put his arms round my waist and I found my arms around his neck and looking him straight in the eye. I felt a lot of rushing emotions at this point and, convinced he felt the same, went in for the kill and let on that I saw him as more than a friend.........that's when I got the shock of my life and he said he wasn't interested in a relationship with anyone and didn't want to ruin our friendship. I was heartbroken at this point and shocked but we carried on dancing together and it was a lovely moment between us. He came back to mine for coffee after the party but it felt awkward because I was still feeling really rejected. When he went to leave he seemed concerned about me being upset, we kissed again on the lips but nothing too initimate, and we hugged. He said he saw me as a special friend and then said no it was more than that, I was important.





So, we are still friends now and he says he not ready for anything more right now but wants to get to know me better. He has been quieter with me for the last couple days since this happened. I know he is known to be very shy when it comes to this sort of thing. I am very confused; friends said that when they saw us at the party that he seemed really keen and I should stick at it but if he's really keen then why did he say he's not interested?





Not sure what to do or how to play it now - I really like him much more than a friend but I don't want to hold onto hope if there is nothing to hope for............any help, advice, perspectives would be most appreciated!!





Thanks


Confused Chick :-)Is There Still Hope With A Male Friend Being More?
maybe he just wants something physical?